WEEK ONE ON WEIGHT WATCHER'S 11 LBS. DOWN!!
Okay.... All who know me, know my humor.
Well, I put that sentence to the test, and I'll be derned....
I WAS WRONG!
Let me set up the situation for ya....
Penny and I went to the Doctor yesterday.
I thought (dangerous for me to "think")
Picture this if you will....
A thought for most people is
a creative or rewarding process or action.
A thought for Barbara Del Piano is like
a lingering gas bubble with a nuclear mushroom effect.
So I had this thought on the way into the Doc's office.
Why not put an Ace bandage over my whole head,
and wear my fake Billy Bob Teeth.
(Doesn't everyone keep a set of fake Billy Bob Teeth
in their glove compartment??)
SO IN WE WALK....
PENNY WAS HOLDING HER OWN,
WALKING IN WITH HER HEAD UP,
AS I FOLLOWED WRAPPED LIKE A DAMN REDNECK MUMMY
The ladies at the reception desk were hysterical!
The people in the waiting room looked, smiled, then turned away.
So the women ask me "what are you going to tell Dr. Stein?"
I said, I'll just tell him,
"I have a pimple, and instead of using a standard band aid to cover it,
I used my Italian pimple remedy" (I'm surprised I didn't limp and hold my heart!)
So, there I sit slumped over trying to look pathetic
and I wait for my Doc to open the door....
I WAS STUNNED AS TO WHAT HAPPEND NEXT....
My Doctor entered the exam room where I sit on the exam table looking like a pathetic hillbilly mummy, and in his accent he says:
"BADDBADDA....WAZ DEEZ?"
(Okay, I thought to myself....NO LAUGHTER YET?)
I said, "I have a pimple Dr. Stein and instead of covering it up with just a plain old band aid, I thought I would cover it up the Italian way".....
(STILL.... NO LAUGHTER...)
Then he sits down on that little Doctor's stool, flips it around
and with a DEADPAN face says this in his accent:
"You Look Like Doooorrr"
(for a fleeting second I thought he said I looked like a door.... and then I got it)
So I said to him "Did you just call me a DORK Dr. Stein?"
Then he abruptly walked out, I looked at Penny, she looked at me,
He comes back in the room with a needle the size of Kirsty Alley's Ass,
and tells me to take off the garb, and
"LAY DOWN NOW....
I TAKE CARE OF DAT"....
Before I knew it, I was on the table, with a needle in my face!
I was stunned....
You couldn't STOP Penny from laughing so hard!
At one point, Penny excused herself from the room,
and in between her laughing so hard YELLS DOWN THE EXAM ROOM HALL
"AHHH!! I'm Gonna Pee!! HAAA HAAA HAA I'm Gonna Pee"
And when I got up from that exam room table
one thought resonated in my brain....
"A THOUGHT FROM BARBARA DEL PIANO IS LIKE
A LINGERING GAS BUBBLE
WITH A NUCLEAR MUSHROOM EFFECT"
I WAS WRONG!
Let me set up the situation for ya....
Penny and I went to the Doctor yesterday.
I thought (dangerous for me to "think")
Picture this if you will....
A thought for most people is
a creative or rewarding process or action.
A thought for Barbara Del Piano is like
a lingering gas bubble with a nuclear mushroom effect.
So I had this thought on the way into the Doc's office.
Why not put an Ace bandage over my whole head,
and wear my fake Billy Bob Teeth.
(Doesn't everyone keep a set of fake Billy Bob Teeth
in their glove compartment??)
SO IN WE WALK....
PENNY WAS HOLDING HER OWN,
WALKING IN WITH HER HEAD UP,
AS I FOLLOWED WRAPPED LIKE A DAMN REDNECK MUMMY
The ladies at the reception desk were hysterical!
The people in the waiting room looked, smiled, then turned away.
So the women ask me "what are you going to tell Dr. Stein?"
I said, I'll just tell him,
"I have a pimple, and instead of using a standard band aid to cover it,
I used my Italian pimple remedy" (I'm surprised I didn't limp and hold my heart!)
So, there I sit slumped over trying to look pathetic
and I wait for my Doc to open the door....
I WAS STUNNED AS TO WHAT HAPPEND NEXT....
My Doctor entered the exam room where I sit on the exam table looking like a pathetic hillbilly mummy, and in his accent he says:
"BADDBADDA....WAZ DEEZ?"
(Okay, I thought to myself....NO LAUGHTER YET?)
I said, "I have a pimple Dr. Stein and instead of covering it up with just a plain old band aid, I thought I would cover it up the Italian way".....
(STILL.... NO LAUGHTER...)
Then he sits down on that little Doctor's stool, flips it around
and with a DEADPAN face says this in his accent:
"You Look Like Doooorrr"
(for a fleeting second I thought he said I looked like a door.... and then I got it)
So I said to him "Did you just call me a DORK Dr. Stein?"
Then he abruptly walked out, I looked at Penny, she looked at me,
He comes back in the room with a needle the size of Kirsty Alley's Ass,
and tells me to take off the garb, and
"LAY DOWN NOW....
I TAKE CARE OF DAT"....
Before I knew it, I was on the table, with a needle in my face!
I was stunned....
You couldn't STOP Penny from laughing so hard!
At one point, Penny excused herself from the room,
and in between her laughing so hard YELLS DOWN THE EXAM ROOM HALL
"AHHH!! I'm Gonna Pee!! HAAA HAAA HAA I'm Gonna Pee"
And when I got up from that exam room table
one thought resonated in my brain....
"A THOUGHT FROM BARBARA DEL PIANO IS LIKE
A LINGERING GAS BUBBLE
WITH A NUCLEAR MUSHROOM EFFECT"
1 comment:
Congratulations on your weight loss...but WHAT did the doctor say? "You look like...WHAT?" was it dork???
(some people have no sense of humor..)
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